How do you measure maturity? It is typically easy to see immaturity in others, but much more difficult to see in ourselves. Perhaps part of the reason is that we don’t have a good way to measure maturity. As a Youth Director for the YMCA I began to recognize that students generally fall into one of three levels of maturity based on the kinds of games they would play. I believe we can measure our spiritual maturity based on very similar criteria. Let me explain…
Using Games to Measure Maturity
The youngest kids are obviously the least mature and that’s clear by the kinds of games they like to play. Kindergarten and first graders love simple games. Games like Duck Duck Goose and Candy Land are some of their favorites because they don't have to think - they just play. For the youngest kids, variations to the game must be kept to an absolute minimum. Perhaps, after a few rounds of Duck Duck Goose you can run in the opposite direction. Anything beyond that and the kids are lost and the game is over.
Being the least mature has some benefits. This group is probably the easiest to please. But because their games lack the depth of the games older students play, they can’t hold their attention for very long. And, quite honestly, their games aren’t as fun – the kindergarteners just don’t realize it yet.
4th and 5th graders, on the other hand, are moving into the second level of maturity and this means an entirely different kind of game is necessary. Duck Duck Goose and Candy Land are child's play, these kids wanted a challenge. They are ready for the world to know that they aren't kids anymore and their games need to prove it. For these kids good games require some sort of strategy or skill. A game dies a fierce death in a 5th grader's eyes if he or she thinks it is too simple or childish. In fact, most kids at this level of maturity would prefer to struggle through a game that is too hard than be caught playing a game that is too simple.
The final stage of maturity doesn't usually show up until middle school or high school. The most mature kids are obvious because they can enjoy the complex games and the simple ones. The mature students continue to play their more complex games and they continue to get better at them. What sets them apart is that they are willing to go back and play the childish games as well. As a director of a program, it is so nice to have mature students around. They are the ones who are happy to play Duck Duck Goose with the kindergarteners, and even let the younger kids win sometimes. The most mature kids know that the way you play a game and whom you play it with is far more important than the game itself.
If you have worked with kids of different ages, you probably already know this to be true. The question that remains is, what does this have to do with spiritual maturity? An interesting article by Timothy Larson helped me put the pieces together. His article, “
Religion is Wasted on the Young,” helped me realize that even though I am an adult, it is far too easy for me to act like a spiritual 5th Grader.
My Path Toward Maturity
I was a young child when I became a Christian so it really is no surprise that I was immature both physically and spiritually. Bible stories were nice – I thought flannelgraphs were cool – but they couldn’t hold my attention for too long. Even as I matured physically, progressing right through middle and high school, my spiritual life stayed in this first level of maturity.
In fact, I didn’t start to enter my spiritual adolescence until I was nearly 20 years old as a student at Virginia Tech. I became involved in Campus Crusade for Christ and it was through their ministry that I began to experience a true revival in my heart. I became more excited about Bible study and developed close Christian friends that pushed me to know God more and serve Him more faithfully.
The strange thing was that this revival changed the way I viewed my church back home. When I would return home I didn't feel like returning to the home team. Instead I felt like I had been promoted to the varsity and was just visiting the J.V. squad. Didn't they know that real Christians sang cool Passion songs, not hymns?
My ability to criticize past teachers grew ten-fold when I began to study theology, especially the doctrine of salvation. It seems strange now, but the more I learned about God's grace, the less gracious I became toward my former teachers. I thought, "the gospel is so exciting, so amazing - why in the world is this the first time I have truly understood who Jesus is and what his death meant for me?" Someone has to be at fault, perhaps betraying more pride than I care to admit, I assumed that the fault must lie with my teachers.
Larson explained a similar experience during his spiritual adolescence. He describes one of his awakening moments, saying,
I recently ran into a woman who had taught me Sunday school as a child and was disconcerted to discover that she was not the simplistic thinker that as an adult I have taken her to be. I suspect that I had projected onto her the limitations of my own young self.
The truth is that I had become a spiritual 5th Grader. I forgot that when the teachers of my past were teaching me, I was a very different person. The teachers that I remembered were teaching a spiritual kindergartener. Sure, now I am happy to sit and listen to an hour-long lecture by D.A. Carson on the relationship between the Old and New Testament. Then, my teachers would have thought it was a miracle if I simply brought my Bible to church, much less opened it to read along. It is unfair when I criticize the teachers who laid the foundation because they weren’t the artisans crafting the elaborate finishing touches.
Moving to the Third Stage of Spiritual Maturity
Like Paul, I can say, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own” (Philippians 3:12). That is, I don’t claim to be in the third level of spiritual maturity, but I am moving in that direction. The question is, what will this third stage look like? How will I recognize true spiritual maturity? Larson explains,
Christ calls us to become like children again. Counterintuitively, part of what this might mean is that there comes a time to get over our mocking, knowing, puncturing phase and learn to be true grown-ups. This is the maturity that once again allows us to proclaim truth in all simplicity, to be like children. To say it another way, true grown-ups can parent.
In the same way that I recognize that a high school student who plays Duck, Duck, Goose with a kindergartener is mature, my willingness to enter back into the simple, for the sake of another, is a measure of spiritual maturity.
To be clear, spiritual maturity is not becoming a kindergartener again. It is not losing your spiritual attention span or forgetting the glories or the splendor of the cross. This would not be spiritual progression, but spiritual regression. So what should spiritual maturity look like? I think three things mark this final spiritual stage:
- Like an 5th grader, you long for the deep and challenging side of Christianity. You enjoy to continually grow in your knowledge of the complexities of theology and the nature of God. You enjoy to read the Bible and to talk with others about what it means. In Paul’s language, you have moved from milk to solid food (1 Corinthians 3:1-3).
- Like a kindergartener, you still delight in the simple. "Jesus Loves You" still has meaning. Childlike faith that longs to hear God’s voice and would unquestioningly follow all his commands characterizes this kind of maturity.
- Like a parent, you are happy to patiently work through the simple for the sake of someone you love. It’s not that parents love Sesame Street, but they love to see their children learn and grow. That is perhaps the highest mark of spiritual maturity.
